myendojourney

One sleep till ‘endopendence day’

Posted on: February 28, 2011


One sleep till ‘endopendence day’

What a mixed bag today has been.  Oh before I go too much in to regaling you of todays events I forgot two important items that you need to consider packing for hospital 1.  Peppermint tea – to help with wind (but as we are ladies none of us will have that problem)  2.  Hot Chocolate sachets – personal taste , but have packed a box just in case!

Woke up this morning full of adrenaline,  wasn’t really sure what to do with myself.  I am ready to admit that I have not held back the tears in the past few weeks,  but this morning was something else.  Was a bit like I had been packing all my emotion in to a box and putting it on the top shelf.  Well that shelf gave way today and it smacked me on the head well and truly.  Had a complete and utter melt down.

Its weird we have know for so long that this time would come, so many emotions come up and then they go down. I am both frightened of the surgery but excited about my new life!.

We are staggered by the amount of support we are being given.  It is just lovely to know that so many people are thinking of us at the moment.

Had to pop in to town and pay a few bills (writing my blog last night reminded me that the dreaded credit card needed paying !)  also spent what seemed like a small fortune on mags to read.

I wanted to do something today that signified the end of an era.  My very special friend Linda helped me through a meditation in which I was able to say goodbye and release much of the emotion and fear that I have been carrying around with me for weeks and even years.  It was an incredibly moving experience one which I will remember for a very long time.

After my meditation my first of two enemas were waiting for me (I have had one before prior to a procedure for endo a few years ago).  Let me tell you to do one at home is one hell of an experience ……….

Firstly they recommend that you do this on your bed and then when you feel the urge to go get to the bathroom as quick as possible – I have no idea who tested out this idea but what a joke .  Thank god we did it in the bathroom (yes I said we,  that is true love for you when your hubby offers to help with something like this).  Unless you have a butt of steel and have fantastic control – which I know those of you with endo will struggle with because of the discomfort etc then DO NOT do this in your bedroom.  Otherwise you will have a whole load of mess to clear up on top of your already anxious state.

You are advised to ‘clench’ for as long as possible once the enema is administered…. let me tell you that a minute is a long long time under these circumstances.  Even with the latest trashy magazine by your side.

Oh also take in some pillows to lay on as the bathroom floor is not that warm but make sure that your butt is elevated.

Make sure that you have enough to read and a drink to hand as today the bathroom has become my most used room in the house.  In fact I wonder if you can buy padded toilet seats (you can get bike seats with extra padding – maybe this is a gap in the market). It’s funny the thoughts you have when you are confined to the small room.  I kinda got an insight in to a man’s world – have always wondered what they did in that room for hours on end.

Lastly make sure you haven’t got to be anywhere for at least an hour after having one of these experiences.  Believe me you won’t be leaving the house too quickly.

After our new and exciting experience  we went to pick up my eldest sister who has travelled up today to spend some time with us this week, we had a bite to eat and dropped her off at her digs for the week. Was good distraction trying to find her digs in what must be the longest road in Norwich!.

Its been great to receive some feedback from those of you who are reading the site.

For the next few days my entries will be a bit sparse but Ainsley and I will be in contact I will be back on line very soon.  A big thanks to Ainsley as I know she has been so busy adding guest blogs to this site. Good luck for tomorrow too babe I will be thinking of you.

Whilst I am otherwise engaged make sure you check out the Endometriosis photoshoot website organised and shot by Kaye Sedgewick

www.kayesedgewick.co.uk/roses

I guess the last thing for me to say is that I am as ready as I will ever be

x

“Don’t waste your energy going down the “what if?” route – the “what if?” didn’t happen and imagining it will just keep you held in the past, unable to move forwards…” – LSJ 2011

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Roses of Endometriosis

From the beginning right back to before my operation

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