Endopendence Day

Posted on: March 1, 2011

Endopendence Day

Morning I said I wouldn’t post today but was awake so early that I thought I would just say hi. Had a reasonable nights sleep,  but had to get up early to have breakfast as I can’t eat after 7.  Althought am allowed to drink until 11 which is a result – I remember when I was a kid having a general anesthetic and not being able to eat for what seemed like days!

Top tip for you – if you ever need to take the kind of medication I am on , stock up on wet wipes and nappy cream ,  will leave it to your imagination.

It wasn’t that worth getting up for breakfast as it tastes like cardboard !

So today I am making the ultimate sacrifice to this cursed disease. I am only hours way from having a full hysterectomy and a possible bowel resection.  In less than 12 hours I will be recovering and thinking about what new exciting things lay ahead.

Logically I consider the need for me to have this op as a necessity and a bit like cosmetic surgery – if it was droppy you’d have it pinned, for me its knackered so lets take it all away.  For those endo sisters reading my blog,  you must remember that this step for me has come at the end of a long arduous journey and is not something I have taken lightly. It really is my only option now – they can’t remove the endo from me as it is too advanced.  Even if they did it would give me respite for only a short time.  I accept my fate.  If and when it ever comes to this for you – you will know, and if it isn’t the right time you will fight for more help. I guess for me I would rather say I am ready rather than the fact that this is the right time.  I will never feel that it is right we have been robbed of an easy pathway through parenthood, but nor will I focus on what might have been – I am where I am and all I can do is my best to accept it and live the life that is waiting for me.

What has surprised me is how many things I am thinking about for my new life.  Last night I suddenly started panicking that I haven’t read enough about what is going to happen to my body. Those that know me will think ‘that’s so Liz’ thinking about what’s next rather than dealing with the hear and now – that’s just how my brain works. Duncan stopped me from ‘youtubing’ the op – that was probably for the best!

Endometriosis will mean something different to each person reading this, it is different in each woman.  I discovered last night from Kaye’s video that the only place endo has never been found in a woman is in her spleen – how bizarre and yet society focuses on the fact that it causes ‘period pain’.

I know that Duncan would have a few choice words to say to this disease if he ever saw it in the pub – I think I underestimate the impact this disease has had on him.  He just carries on supporting me, making me hot water bottles (that stay warm for hours!) and making me happy. Last night we snuggled up in bed and I don’t think we have ever felt as close.

Anyhow best go now,  don’t forget to wear yellow today as its International Endometriosis Awareness Day on the eve of Endometriosis Awareness Week

Sadly I wont be wearing yellow today,  green will be my choice of colour ……. Although isn’t iodine yellow?



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Roses of Endometriosis

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