Day twenty – twenty three

Posted on: March 25, 2011

Day twenty – day twenty three

Have had a really difficult week this week, physically am starting to make great progress.

Yesterday I woke to discover that I was covered head to toe in a red rash, literally all over my , arms, fingers and toes.  Made an appointment to see my GP who explained that it was an allergy rash.  Also the red lumpy marks next to my wound are actually an allergic reaction.  My GP is brilliant and he took some time to explain that on a scale of 1 to 10 my operation was an 11 (so why use that scale then?) He talked to me about the fact that my body is in shock, anaesthesia is a horrible drug that does all sorts of nasty things to the human body. There is no simple way of telling what has caused the rash, but he explained that this is the way my body is dealing with the shock of having and surviving this operation.

We also discussed the odd pains I am still getting, have a torn muscle type feeling in my left thigh, and a knot that is just below my left rib cage as well as some odd twinges. Talked to him about my intense exhaustion and apparently this is all due to the operation too.

He explained that I could be below par for at least 6 months,  and that I needed to stop trying to run before I could walk (Mmmm not the first time in my life I have been told that).

Physically I am now trying to live without Diclofenic , am now just having paracetamol.  This isn’t going too bad, infact for me it’s better to be in some pain as it reminds me not to do things!.  Have been able to do more for myself this week which has been just brilliant. Am also really hungry,  craving sweet stuff and unable to eat enough to make me feel full,  this is also apparently normal !

I do wonder whether I am also experiencing the hormonal crash that is talked about in a lot of literature.  Monday evening I felt like I would never see the beginning of a new day again, everything felt so dark.

On the whole I feel this huge sense of loss, and I don’t understand what this means.  How do you begin to understand grief for what I have and haven’t had in my life.  Only now am I beginning to realise what a long process this is gonna be for me to rebuild my life.

Somewhere in me I am still excited about my new life,  but I have no mental capacity to think or even to begin to understand what is happening to me.


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Roses of Endometriosis

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