myendojourney

Day Thirty Eight

Posted on: April 7, 2011


Day thirty eight

Not sure what is wrong with me today, am feeling so fed up, the sun is shining but I just feel flat.  This whole experience is such a roller coaster.  I really wish that there was an easy way to deal with all the emotions I am feeling,  today I found myself looking at more maternity gear , am ashamed to even admit this,  I told myself its because I cant wear my normal clothes, but part of me likes the fact that my bellie is swollen and that one of my neighbours asked me today how far gone was I  (I felt awful telling them what had happened – they had been away for a few weeks and missed it all. Does this make me a weirdo?  I still don’t think I truely believe what has happened to me (sorry Duncan – to us).  Of course there is a flip side,  when I am feeling normal I am resentful of the fact that my stomach actually had some definition before the surgery and now I am bloated and spongy.

But genuinely I have been reading and researching how long it will take for my stomach to reduce in size and am shocked to read that I can expect it to be 6-8 months before I can wear normal clothes again.  Of course I can chance it but from what I read if I wear normal jeans I will end up with swelling above the waist band and for now at least I am gonna continue to live in my comfy maternity jeans and maxi dresses – what better time of year than now to do that.

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Roses of Endometriosis

From the beginning right back to before my operation

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