myendojourney

Day forty six

Posted on: April 15, 2011


Day forty six

Last nights experience has certainly given me much to think about.  Also has made me realise that I am not going to wake up one day and suddenly be okay with the fact I can’t have children.  I knew that but I needed to KNOW it.  I have to beat this feeling inside of me ,  I need to discover some coping mechanisms that will get me through the coming weeks, months and years.

I decided that today I would try wearing ‘normal underwear’ as I have been getting on okay without my support band.  This was a big mistake as the underwear I chose was lacy and the seam was in the wrong place for my scar – was really really itchy and generally uncomfortable.

But putting on some nice knickers has highlighted a new change to my body – my boobs have shrunk around a cup size. This might not seem that much but I am absolutely gutted about it.  I was only a C cup as it was but I am devastated to have shrunk.

It probably seems really vain, but its like another part of my femininity that has been stolen,  isn’t it enough that I have lost my womb, tubes, ovaries and cervix? Now I am losing my boobs too!

On the up side though my sister and her husband have come to see us for the weekend and I am really enjoying spending time with them both.

We wandered over to a pub in the village where we live, am still taking a cushion with me when we go out, primarily I use the cushion to put over my stomach when I am travelling to protect me from the seat belt but am also using this to double up as a cushion to sit on when we are out, it makes me more comfortable.

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Roses of Endometriosis

From the beginning right back to before my operation

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