Day forty nine

Posted on: April 18, 2011

Day forty nine

Today was a big day,  I had my post op check with Mr Warren.  I felt a mixture of emotions arriving at the N&N,  brought back memories of the morning of my op.  Walking towards Gyne outpatients in the West wing was also hard,  my heart was beating so hard and fast.  It surprised me that I felt so nervous.

There was quite a delay waiting to see him.

Firstly he asked if I had any problems so I reeled of a list of things I had been experiencing.

Mr Warren explained that the bladder and bowel pain was attributed as a result of what they had to do me in the operation as they had prodded, mauled and pulled me about. He explained how extensive the surgery had been and that I could expect to be uncomfortable for around a year.

I was asked to do a urine sample, just to check there was no low level urine infection,  and was advised there is nothing to worry and that the pain should sort itself out in time.  Mr Warren explained the pain i am experiencing is from where the stents were in the urinary tracts and where they had to resect my bowel in places.

I hadn’t realised that the work they had done on my bowel was called ‘resect’  at least now rather than say ‘they did lots of nasty stuff to my bowel’ I can say ‘I had my bowel resected’  sounds a bit more legitimate.

He wasn’t concerned about the pain in my side,  he felt it was muscular and that this would pass with time.

Mr Warren and I discussed the hot flushes and he advised that it would be best if I could put up with hot fluses and stay on livial for as long as I can to prevent the reoccurrence of the Endo, he doesn’t want to consider offering me any other HRT for a minimum of a year, but if I can’t put up with it he would be happy to see me in a year to reconsider what HRT. Livial is just oestrogen based and maybe after a year a year may need one with some progesterone.

He said to take it easy not over do things and listen to pain – stop if it hurts.  I was advised to gradually increase and build up my walking as well as to start swimming.

Mr Warren conducted an internal and spoke some magical words to me ‘hopefully this is the last internal you will ever need’

That internally he was very happy with how I am healing – I got top marks…. he remarked that he couldn’t see the line where I had been stitched internally.

I mentioned that I thought I had started losing stitches and he explained that they start out as purple but they turn black over time which is why they were black when I saw them.

He then discharged me from his care.

To walk out of his office knowing that I wasn’t coming back for a follow up,  I wasn’t waiting for more appointments or test results or anything else was absolutely indescribable . I sobbed when we walked out of the hospital,  it just feels strange.

Gynaecologists and fertility problems have been part of my life for around 8 years, before that no one would listen to me.  To have reached the end of one stage of this journey is terrifying and awesome.

I never thought that this would happen and end like this,  but I feel that Mr Warren today has given me permission to live a new life, one that has escaped me for so long.  I just now need to ensure that I give myself permission to live that life.

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Roses of Endometriosis

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