myendojourney

Day seventy – not becoming the illness

Posted on: May 9, 2011


Day seventy

My last blog was about brain memory.  This is now making me chuckle as I actually have no memory now, I am so forgetful!  More forgetful than I think I have ever been in my life.  Lets hope when my life gets in to a more normal pattern my memory returns.

Also I have no idea if this is actually day seventy, I am sure I have missed some days – may even have added some on?!?!?!

Last night I went out for dinner with some colleagues who work for an agency that I did alot of joint working with.  I hate to admit that I was so nervous about going along,  I was worried about what questions I may get, or that they may judge me for being off work still but I am so pleased to say they made me so welcome and in fact made me feel reassured about my needing to be off work to recuperate and not return until I was ready.

One of the ladies present (she’ll love me for calling me a lady) spoke to me rather candidly about my illness.  And recalled various times when she saw me at work looking like (in her words) ‘the living dead’  , I got rather upset at her memories of how I had been affected and apologised for any affect it may have had on our work and she was so complimentary saying that she had no idea how I managed to function when I looked as ill as I did.

She reminded me of the times that I got changed in the day because of ‘flooding’ and how my coping mechanism was to put a stoic face on it and just hit it head on.  I don’t think my interpretation is the same of how I coped but it was an eye opener to hear it from her non the less.

I still believe with Endo that because other people don’t see it as a serious illness the sufferer doesn’t either.  But perhaps this is a good thing – because maybe if I had allowed myself to feel my illness in its extremes then maybe I would have become the illness.  By shelving it I never let it beat me.

The night was so much fun,  was the kind of meal we all love – well the meal was great ….. but the puddings were amazing had chocolate brownie (home made) warmed with ice cream,  followed by birthday cake, followed by chocolate Cadbury’ Roses …… Mmmmmmmmmm

Not sure whether it was the amount of puddings but was up most of the night with palpatations and hot flushes – serves me right but was worth it!.

Has actually done me good seeing people I work with

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Roses of Endometriosis

From the beginning right back to before my operation

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