myendojourney

Day seventy eight – Just done in!

Posted on: May 21, 2011


Day Seventy Eight

Last nights blog was rather emotional,  I can’t even describe to you why I felt as I did,  or as I do.

Those emotions are still there just not quite so on the surface as they were.  Infertility sucks!

This sounds incredibly disrespectful but there are friends who have said – there are other options to become a parent,  you have thought about adoption before! Yes we have and whilst I have always been fired up about doing that route, at the moment I feel that I have nothing left.  I can’t even think about routes open to us for parenthood.

Duncans words were ‘I am done in’, just about sums up how I feel too.

We have a wedding to go to this weekend, just the thought of going feels like hard work,  neither of us want to be social and pretend that life is great.  Friends call and chat to me about their lives – its like I am listening from under water, after the conversation I couldn’t tell you what they said.

Other than being where we are, I can’t complain about my life,  I have  a wonderful husband and we have a strong relationship.  The trouble is that what has happened is just consuming me. I am probably sounding a right bore now aswell – its certainly boring me, so must be boring the hell out of those around me.

Not one part of me regrets having it done – I know I did the right thing,  but am so bored of being on this treadmill.  At some-point I will find the strength to turn up the speed but for the moment I am just allowing myself to feel.

We are both finding this harder than we thought it would be, foolish of us maybe but this is tough.

We’ll get through it with time

Endosister liz

x


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Roses of Endometriosis

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