Week seventeen- intimacy

Posted on: July 7, 2011

Week seventeen – intimacy ….. DON’T READ THIS IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW!

Look away if this is too much information now ……. I don’t want any complaints that this is before the watershed!

There is no way I am going in to detail,  but I think its important to at least touch on the subject of sex after a hysterectomy – especially as I no longer have a cervix,  there is so little information out there about how it feels.

I am proud to say that I have well and truly popped my post hysterectomy virginity ,  I have talked before about intimacy,  but this was different – there was no awkwardness, we were just able to be together – worries put to one side and just togetherness.

Afterwards my darling hubby asked how it had felt ‘did it hurt’  almost sobbing as he asked.  Gladly I was able to tell him ‘it didn’t feel as it did before’. Honestly (which I did tell him) yes it did hurt,  it was uncomfortable but I expect that – there has been some serious under use of this part of my body!

Also I seem to have shrunk – am shallower than I was (okay okay no sarcy comments about me being shallow please!). Have been reading a bit about this and it can happen – where they stitch you up it makes you shallower. What I can’t find is a consistent opinion about whether with time (as it is muscle) it will grow with use or not.  There is very little I can do about it now, other than find a man with a small !!!!!! but as I am happily married to my hubby we’ll just have to get round it some how.

For me personally I have lost sensation around my ‘mojo’ stimulation takes far longer than before and its not as fruitful – persistence seems to pay off, but this is not always possible , and sometimes my body just doesn’t respond.  Some of this could be emotionally how I am but some of it is bound to be physical.

In the words of my dear Dr – the only way to get over it is to have more sex! ……… Thanks for that bit of advice!

Anyhow enough from me on this matter


Endosister Liz



3 Responses to "Week seventeen- intimacy"

Hi Liz, you posted your blog name on FB – it’s good to read that others are facing these issues too. I wanted to reassure you on this – all the issues that hyst brings as regards sex have come up again in my journey, as the treatments I am having for cancer will make a normal fannyperrywinkle dry up, get shallower, lose muscle tension, and also the sides will seal up, permanently. If it were less bad, I wouldn’t have pushed myself to ask difficult questions about it, and then I would have been stuck wondering and fearing things were worse than they are.
This is what I have learnt – if your cervix was removed, but you didn’t have suspected cervical cancer, then the ‘depth’ taken away is negligible, and while it will feel different for some time, it won’t feel different always. The stats say that your ability to orgasm isn’t changed in the vast majority of women, (though I think I may be in the sliver where it has changed, that may be worry! too) but most women it will feel different at first, particularly because of your history and your fears.
You can use replens or vagifem to increase moisture in your vaginal walls on a regular basis, and you can use sylk as a lubricant to reduce pain during sex. Sylk and Replens are available on prescription from your GP. You’re right that it’s a muscle, and it will change if exercised – so if things feel different, the standard response is that regular sex will improve it – but the most effective is kegels, or pelvic floor exercises – remembering that they will take 3-6 months of practice to have proper effects. They will improve bowel and bladder function too, so they’re well worth doing, every day.
Finally, your partner sounds a true keeper, he must have been so nervous.
Hope you don’t mind my adding these comments.

hi V , thanks so much for taking the time to respond – I don’t mind at all. Its great to hear from other ladies about their experience – it will help anyone reading this blog. I am very fortunate that my work was not due to cancer – my heart goes out to you, I have read some of your comments and you are truly incredible. The affects on your sex life after this kind of treatment arent discussed at all, thank you for your honesty. I’ll be sure to ask the Dr when I see him on Friday for those two products.

Am addicted to pelvic floor – am doing about 100 a day at different times, I had no idea that they took 3-6 months to help though. God knows what state my bladder would be in if I wasnt doing them !

D is amazing – it can’t be underestimated how much this has affected him – he is finding it harder and harder (poor choice of words)

Thanks once again
Liz xxxx

Finally found the useful website that gave a lot of reassurance: here

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