myendojourney

week twenty three – Woman of the year

Posted on: August 18, 2011


Week twenty three – Woman of the Year

Since last April I have been a member of the local Slimming World group,  I joined because I was piling on the weight whilst on the cursed Zoladex injection.  When I joined the group my motivation was not to lose weight,  I know that sounds odd – but I was told that I should expect weight gain of around a stone every six months whilst on this awful drug.  To my amazement I begun slowly losing weight and in the weeks prior to my surgery I was 3 lbs off losing 3 stone,  (am 4lb heavier at the moment than my pre op weight).

Last week my fellow SW members nominated me as their Woman of the Year ,  and tonight I stood in front of my peers and told them my story.  I live my story every day – you know my story because you read it.  It is very rare I get emotional when I retell some of what the last 18 months has been like but tonight as I started speaking to the group I struggled to get the words out.  I started by saying ‘I didn’t join SW to lose weight – I only wanted to maintain’  then I really realised for the first time how far I had come and how much I have achieved.   I listened to 3 other ladies inspirational stories and hope that their ‘journeys’ will inspire others so that they know it is possible for them to do it to.

Weight-loss for me has been about so much more than the drugs.  It has been a focus for me – something to aim for whilst I faced the biggest challenge of my life – living with and facing a hysterectomy and bowel / bladder resect.  Now I look back at what I have been through and it makes me feel sick and nervous – thankfully I can’t have a hysterectomy again!

I was stunned and humbled to be voted the Thursday night Woman of the Year – yes I cried.

My message to others is simple,  if I can do it so can you.  Slimming world for me isn’t a diet is a change of lifestyle – healthy eating has simply transformed my body , skin , hair and attitude.  If you drive a petrol car and put diesel in it – what happens ,  you kill the car.  I was destroying my ‘body’ by not appreciating the importance of the fuel I ate.  Now I greatly respect what I give my system to run on.

Whilst I am humbled to have been voted Woman of the Year it has brought up some emotions that had been shut away again.  Being called a woman , and woman of the year makes my stomach turn – maybe because my womanhood is absent now – it has been removed; part of me sees  the woman within me as not a whole woman but one that has been castrated and mutilated.  This part is not visible to the outside world yet is very visible to me.

Anyhow,  am going to have a glass of wine to get over the shock

Nite nite

Endosister Liz

xx

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Roses of Endometriosis

From the beginning right back to before my operation

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