myendojourney

Week twenty four – returning to work

Posted on: September 3, 2011


Week twenty four – returning to work

Firstly apologies for not blogging for a couple of weeks,  its been a rather hectic time.  Mid August I returned to work on a phased return.  After being off work on sick leave for 5 months I was filled with trepidation and anxiety as to how I would cope with work, traveling ( I have a long commute) and how I would cope physically.
It was easy to manage surgical , bowel and bladder pains when at home, but when at work and with people I was concerned as to how I would manage.

One thing I never blogged in the early days was that the week of my op , I received my notice of redundancy through work.  Along with many people at the moment work is not a reliable structure.  During my sick leave it was decided that rather than make me redundant I would be redeployed to an office 26 miles away (3 days a week and 52 miles away 2 days a week) , giving me a total of 16 hours commute weekly (its very rural where I live with no motorways and limited dual carriage ways).

Occupational health were excellent and wrote me a phased return, week one 16 hours, then week 2-4 working up to 24 hours.  Week 5 -10 full time.  But during this time my ability to drive from office to office or to meeting venues or family homes has been caped.

Driving has been difficult.  I had not really considered how much of an issue this would be – silly really.  But I have been driving around locally and found it uncomfortable,   commuting is causing me increased pain and discomfort from my left side – kinda where my ovaries would have been its commonly called scar tissue and adhesion pain – mainly when I use my clutch.  Braking and accelerating aren’t an issue.  Also I am incredibly tired.  I am not a late sleeper (even if I was hot flashes have put pay to that part of my life).  I guess with regards to the pain it will get better, its all down to not being used and the damaged caused by the surgery.

I feel that I am coping with work okay,  its not easy.  I work with vulnerable families – a constant reminder of what I have lost.  Only time will tell whether it is within me to continue in this career.

I am less patient with my body now than I was – am frustrated and annoyed that I am constantly able to feel the reminder of the abuse my body has suffered. I thought by now I would be back exercising at the level pre op,  yet I am too tired to even contemplate it. I hate the flabby mid drift that shows I have a ‘hyster-bellie’.

I guess I am angry,  no longer am I patient understanding that there is a recovery process that needs to be followed,  I want to be fit and active again, I need to have my body responding like a woman in her early (ish) thirties.  I feel since the surgery like I have aged 10 years over night.  Maybe its the menopause, the lack of quality sleep, the continuous hot flashes and general lack of energy.  Enough now please  …. I would like my life back

On a positive note,  I have seen colleagues in the past few weeks that have not seen me for 6 months or more and its been a boost to hear their comments.  Whilst visiting a local office meeting a colleague and old friend her boss asked her who I was, she was stunned to hear that it was I Liz Broadhurst.  Remarking on the colour of my skin,  how glossy my hair was and the amount of weight I have lost.  I am also touched by the amount of kind emails and phone calls received by former colleagues – whilst in hiding during my recovery I guess I forgot about work totally.

Regards

 

Endosister Liz

 

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Roses of Endometriosis

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