myendojourney

New Year, New Start

Posted on: January 17, 2012


So here we are 17 days in to the new year – blimey its already rushing past.

Now as I reflect on December I can see what a bag of emotions I was during the run up to the festive season. Everywhere I looked people were announcing pregnancies, births in addition to the reminder that whilst people were excitedly preparing to make christmas special for their children; yet another Christmas was passing where we were not parents. Unable to repeat the family traditions such as leaving a note for Father Christmas with a pie and brandy, making sure that a carrot was left for Rudolph!

I can also identify now with how desperate I was to leave 2011 behind me.  Suddenly I felt annoyed and agitated that I was shackled by emotions and constant reminders of what I had lost in 2011.I never expected early life post hysterectomy to be as hard as it has been; there are ladies around me who have had similar surgery that have a knowing look when I see them now – as if to say ‘you don’t know what has hit you until its too late’. What frustrates me is that no health professionals prepare you for this huge rollercoaster ride. Granted maybe it was more of a cliff I fell off because of my childlessness but many women talk about how unfeminine they feel after their op and that their identity has been lost.  Why is no support offered to women?  Why are we all floundering around finding our own way through?

So on New Years eve I said goodbye to the hardest year of my life; in that moment I kissed my husband and welcomed in 2012 with open arms and anticipation.

Who knows what 2012 will hold for us but we are both ready and waiting.  I am going to do all I can to stop myself looking over my shoulders at my past and begin to live in the present.

Happy New Year to you – I wish you all health and happiness

x

 

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Roses of Endometriosis

From the beginning right back to before my operation

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